||[Dec. 24th, 2007|05:58 am]
It's so funny. We didn't even hang out, like, at all in the past month or so, yet I still feel like I'm losing a really big part of me. These feelings are so overtly conflicted for numerous reasons. The first being, why should I miss you this much when you weren't even that much a part of my recent life? Still, you were there. If I needed you, you were there. I had that available to me. I felt like we were always waiting to REALLY be best friends, like waiting for the time, even though we kind of were. The second reason being, that you're just moving to Chicago. It's not some other world, and tickets are cheap, but I don't know, I feel really empty tonight, really lonely, and I know It's the culmination of various things, but nonetheless you leaving has affected that greatly.
I remember watching Garden State, when Andrew Largeman says, "You know that point in your life when you realize that the house that you grew up in isn't really your home anymore? All of the sudden even though you have some place where you can put your stuff that idea of home is gone." I really felt like that tonight; I feel like I'm losing a great many people who are close to me, and that I have so few actual, genuine connections anymore. Like I was in this large huddle, right in the center, then everyone dispersed, but I had no idea which way to go, so I just remained there. And here I am.
Either way, this has certainly become more about me than you it would seem, and I'm sorry for that. I guess you just being there, in Tampa, was a comfort for me. I always knew you would be there to talk about G.I Joe, or Transformers, or movies, or whatever. I guess we both kind of took that for granted.
I love you, buddy. You're my brother. Think of a time for me to visit, and I'll make it. Keep the Head Project alive. Keep me on staff. Keep me in the know. Let's be more involved now than we were. I wish you nothing but the best.
I had all these things I wanted to say, to write, and now, It's seemingly vanished. I'm sure we'll get some sort of real time comment conversation going though, so I guess just get a hold of me when you get there so I know you're safe.